She's The Man!
by Veronica101
Summary: Everbody has a secret, Ikuto wants Utau who likes Kukai who is really Amu whose brother is dating Lulu so she hates Utau who's with Ikuto to make Kukai jealous who is really Amu crushing on Ikuto who thinks she's a guy...
1. Dial B For Bitch

**She's the Man!**

**BASED ON MOVIE 'SHE'S THE MAN'!**

**Chapter 1: Dial B for Bitch!**

**Amu's P.O.V**

I was never the girl who was the person who dressed up for prom...

I was more of...let's say...

The soccer girl...

...The girl who made winning possible...

So like I always do when I reached the goal...I gave one professional kick to make the soccer ball slam into the goal just as the bell sounded for the end of game.

Just in time!

What can I say, even if that goal didn't go in my team were way ahead with 3 to 1!

As my teammates and I threw a small after show for winning, I gestured my boyfriend Ryo back on to the courts.

And while he was at it I of course got my winning kiss.

"You're getting good!" Ryo stated as he lightly pulled away from my mouth.

"Yes I teached you well, you couldn't even kiss properly back then!" I admitted giggling.

"I was talking about soccer!" He insisted shaking his head in defeat.

"I know!"

"You know, you are better than half my team!" Ryo said smiling down at me.

"No..probably 3/4..." I said as I pushed my lips lightly against his.

"Whatever you say..." Ryo muttered into the kiss.

**Monday…At school…On the soccer field…Amu's P.O.V**

"But our team can't be cut! We got into the national's last year!" I screamed.

"I know that, but since you don't have enough players, it's only fair that your team gets cut!" The soccer coach explained.

"Yeah…but can't you hold another round of auditions for the girls' team," I pleaded.

"I'm sorry, but no can do, what's done is done,"

"Well then at least let my team and I try out for the guy's team,"

The soccer coach blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter.

"No can do," The coach commented while staring at the guy's team who just finished practice and was making their way towards us.

"Hey what's up!" My boyfriend Ryo questioned.

"Your coach won't let my team and me try out for your team, since the girl's team got cut," I said annoyed.

As I finished my sentence all the guys just stared at me and burst out laughing.

"Well, Ryo you are the team captain, what do you think about it!" I said quickly hopping he'd agree with me.

He has to! He's my boyfriend!

"I think the coach said it all,"

"But yesterday you said I was better than 3/4 of your team!" I indicated.

"Uh…I never said that." Ryo replied while he's teammates looked at him.

"WHY ARE YOU LYING!" I screamed.

"End of discussion!" He scolded annoyed.

"FINE! And end of relationship!" I spat.

"You just got owned dude!" Ryo's team mates exclaimed as they punched Ryo playfully on the arm.

As his teammates went to the locker room, I rolled my eyes and got ready to leave the field when Ryo exclaimed out "AMU! Don't be like that I just don't want you to get hurt!"

"Aww…Ryo YOU ARE SO FULL OF_"

The coach suddenly blew his whistle making me stomp away in rage.

Well he can have it his way!

**Later this afternoon…on the way to Amu's house…Still Amu's P.O.V**

As I listened to music with my hoddie on, I was suddenly grabbed by a pair of hands.

I turned around to see a bitch.

And I'm not talking about my neighbour's dog.

It was my brother's girlfriend.

"Oh it's you, with a back like that I thought you were Kukai, maybe it's your total lack of curse!"

"Hi Lulu! It's so good to see you too!" I replied sarcastically.

"I'm looking for Kukai, where is he?" Lulu asked.

"I don't know!"

"Well…Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life and tell him to give me a call if he wants to stay in a relationship with me, 'kay?"

"Does he have your number, 1 800 Bi0tch!"

Lulu glared pitchforks at me, that's right pitchforks not daggers, and with that she stomped away.

**Later this afternoon…at Amu's house**

As I walked into the house my mother Midori comes over to me and exclaimed in an excited voice, "I've got a surprise for you,"

I groaned annoyed...because when it came to surprise...my mum thinks of pretty prom dresses...

My mum ushered me into the lounge room to show me what was suppose to be a dress.

I stared at the dress for a second longer and exclaimed out "NO WAY ON EARTH WILL I WEAR THAT!"

"But honey…if you do so, I could take you out for the ball-kicking-thing-you-like-so-much shopping, and you can bring your boyfriend Ryo!"

"NO WAY AM I BRINGING THAT SEXIEST JERK! And anyway we just broke up…"

"But honey how are you ever going to find another handsome guy like him again!" My mum questioned with eyes full of curiosity.

"Well, mum, if you love him so much then why don't YOU go out with him!" I spat while storming up the stairs.

As I entered my room I saw a frantic Kukai throwing a suitcase of his stuff on to the lawn and getting ready to launch himself down the second floor building.

"Uh…Kukai, you could always USE the door!"

"Yes but I'm not going to my private boarding school, I'm going to go play with my band at a rock concert in America, and you Amu need to help me by hiding the fact I'm not at my boarding school. I'll only be gone for 2 weeks so just tell them I'm sick or something. Now see ya!" Kukai exclaimed as he jumped down from our window, grabbed his suitcase and was about to run off when I called out.

"Hey, I always wondered why you quit playing soccer? You were so good at it! And what about Lulu! You know your stuck-up girlfriend, she was looking for you!"

"She's hot and it's a guy thing, don't worry I'll call her. Oh and I only played soccer to get chicks!" He admitted.

"You know it's not easy being a musician! And you have to go to school to actually become successful!"

"Last I checked musicians don't need to learn trigonometry, history or whatever!"

As I was about to call after Kukai again my mother came in and said "Hey honey who were you talking to?"

Looking around exclaimed out "Me? I was just talking to Kukai on the phone," I said while grabbing my phone.

"Okay, well honey are you sure you don't want to try this dress!" my mum asked while shaking the 'thing' infront of me.

"Uh…Sorry to break this to you mum but I don't do frills or puffy sleeves…I'm more of a guy on clothing choice," I replied while shoving her out the door and slamming it behind her.

"Sometimes honey I think you might as well be your brother." my mum muttered while stomping away.

As I looked into the mirror I smiled and said "You know what, I might just be a guy..."

As I gave a slight smirk I packed my bag and got ready to start on my plan of being a guy!

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	2. Guy In Every Girl!

**She's the Man!**

**Chapter 2: **

**At the salon with my favourite hair dresser Hideaki…Amu's P.O.V...**

"Okay Hideaki, I need a miracle, something to make me look like my brother!" I exclaimed while Hideaki was fixing the trim on an elderly woman.

"I can't do that, what if you get caught!"

"No one would even know what the real Kukai looks like, since he's new to the school! So please help us out!" Exclaimed one of Yaya, one of my best friend.

"Come on Hideaki! PLEASE!" Exclaimed Yaya and my other friends.

"Yes, come on Hideaki!" The elderly woman agreed while looking at him hopefully.

"Fine!" He agreed reluctantly.

Soon I was trying out wigs and moustaches, and finally we found one that made me look like a familiar copy of Ryo.

I have to say, with Kukai's family genes in my body, I did sorta look like him in a mini-skirt...

**Later in my room…**

I stared at my suitcase full of clothes and needs of a girl, like and bandage to wrap around my chest so I look like an actual guy and some tampoons just incase.

Then I quickly I descended my way down the stairs unnoticed, just as I was about to slip through the front door,my mum came out from the kitchen and called out to me "Honey where are you going?"

"Uh…I'm going to head over to my dad's…"

"But honey you should stay here at least a bit longer,"

"Well…since Kukai is heading over dad's, because it's closer to his boarding school, I thought Lulu might be there and maybe she could train me for the upcoming pageant…"

"Oh honey! You're finally coming through! Well, don't keep him waiting, go on, and I'll be seeing you at the festival,"

Smirking in satisfaction I ran outside and headed towards Hideaki's car looking smug.

**Later on…When I arrived in front of the boarding school…**

As I stepped out my car I grabbed my bag and slanged it on my right shoulder while grabbing my suitcase.

I looked at my surroundings and saw a nice boarding school with people rushing in and out of the front gate.

Amu it will be okay_

OKAY! SCREAM AMU! IT WON'T BE OKAY!

A part of my brain exclaimed as I climbed back into the car and started screaming...

"I CAN'T DO THIS! I AM GOING TO GET CAUGHT AND THEN I'LL GET MYSELF AND MY BROTHER RYO BOTH IN HUGE TROUBLE...etc"

While I was screaming this Hideaki was screaming something a lot like this "YOU CAN'T BACK OUT! IF YOU DO THINK OF ALL THE TIME I'VE WASTED ON YOU etc…"

When we both finished screaming Hideaki shoved me out of the car and said in a much calmer voice than before "Don't worry, you can do it, there's a guy in a girl…"

That sounded more wrong than I could imagine...

There was an awkward silence that was erupted when he said once again "That didn't exactly came out the way I wanted, but anyway good luck…"

As I gave him a hug which I soon realise it was not a thing guys do, I started whacking him on the back making him let go.

As I gave him a wave, I made my way towards my new school...well...Kukai's...

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	3. Instructional guide to tampons!

**She's The Man**

**Okay...I wrote this a long time ago so no judgement!**

**I already know this chapter failed...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3:<strong>

**Amu's P.O.V**

As I made my way through my or should I say Kukai's new school, I couldn't help but feel like I was not going to fit in all that well...

While I was thinking about this, I walked into a door, looking up I found that it was my dorm room.

Taking a deep breath I opened the door that lead into a room with 2 single beds and 4 guys.

I doubt we'd be sharing the beds.

They're probably friends with my room mate.

I assumed as I jingled my key.

And of course nearly dropping it.

"Hey!" I said.

Realising I sounded like a girl, I quickly exclaimed "Sup! We are gonna be tight bro!"

I said sounding...what I would call a bad imitation of a guy's voice, or as I would call a pre-puberty donkey.

The guys gave me a WTF look as I cleared my throat and unloaded my bag onto an empty bed.

Well...

That went well...

"Dude, how old are you?" Asked a shirtless blue haired guy.

Realising I must be shorter than a normal guy since I am technically NOT a guy, I said trying to be calm "I skipped a couple of grades! I'm brilliant! SHHH!"

Well...aren't I just the guy I want to be.

As I tried to calm myself down a blonde haired guy with blue eyes suddenly asked me "Hey dude, why do you have tampoons?"

Looking around I saw a small box of tampoon lying on the floor...

OH CRAP! That must have happened when I was tipping out my bag!

Looking around, I desperately looked for something to clear up the mess! "Um...there're for...nose bleeds! THAT'S RIGHT! NOSE BLEEDS! I get REALLY bad nose bleeds!" I exclaimed while casually turning around and asking "You guys never tried it before?"

"Uh...no..." they replied together looking a bit doubtful.

Thinking quickly I opened the box of tampoons took one out, unwrapped it while saying, "You get rid of whatever this is!" I said throwing away the rapper, and then stuck it up my nose.

Yuck.

This has got to be one of the most revolting things I have ever done in my life, but if it means they won't suspect me as some crazy mental issused dude who wears tampoons, then I guess I'm fine.

As I looked at them hoping they would find this reasonable enough, I saw they holding back laughter while going on about what they were previously doing. Okay...

That could have gone better...but hey, it could have gone worse...

Just deep breathe and move on...

"Hey, so when's soccer tryout?"

**Soccer tryouts**

The soccer coach was going on about greatness when he suddenly said something that caught my attention.

"Find a partner and one of you will be a shirt the other will be a none."

Oh crap!

If I get choosen to be a none then...

I'm doomed!

Come on think of something.

Anything.

"Uh...coach?" I questioned.

"Yes?" He replied looking at me.

"Uh...I have to be a shirt...because...I um...I'M ALLERGIC TO THE SUN!"

Way to go genius!

I mean who's allergic to the sun?

"You're allergic to the sun?" He questioned rhetorically.

Idiot! Idiot!

"Uh...yes! Very allergic! Very very allergic!" I answered.

He looks at me his eyes flashed for a second with doubt.

"Alright! You're a shirt!" The coach said walking away.

Well...

At least you're a shirt...

Who am I kidding!

WHO'S STUPID ENOUGH TO BE ALLERGIC TO THE SUN!

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